Saturday, April 30, 2016


Nothing makes you seriously debate your permanent sterelization options like bringing 3 children to the beach sans spouse. A girlfriend of mine and her two met us there but 5 kids (4 under age 4) and 2 adults is a lot of fucking work. It doesn't end there either. When you get home you have to wake everyone up from their car nap and hose them down and change clothing and wash towels. It is almost too much work. My favorite part of going to the beach is when they all fall asleep in the car and I go to Dunkin Donuts for a large iced coffee. Then I proceed to drive around Charleston looking at the homes for sale. Its the little things. Way back when, I would go to the beach with nothing more than a coffee, some smokes (judge away), a book, and a chair. Now I'm loaded down with so much shit I probably look like a contestant on The Amazing Race. These women sitting by us had a baby who looked to be about 10 months old and this baby TOOK A NAP IN THE PACK AND PLAY. Seriously, who are these people? My kid barely sleeps in her bed let alone a pack and play in a strange place. My kids have no chill. Am I using that phrase right? Hang on I'm googling it.... Well, according to Urban Dictionary its possible I have no chill...


I'm going to have to curtail my verbal cursing. Yesterday would have been a good day to start.
Me: Middle man, where are you going?
MM: Uh, I hab to shit my pants... AWONE! 
Translation: I have to shit my pants... ALONE
Shit. Well at least he uses it right.

Quick poll: at what age is it appropriate to give the task of applying a kids own sunscreen to their face? I thought the answer was 8 (in 2 weeks) but J's face is looking like a piece of marble rye.... hopefully this is a learning experience for everyone involved.

No comments:

Post a Comment